Everyone Falls Off The Wagon.

This past month has been such a fog. I have moved into a new house and it was the second to last step of leaving my old life behind. I have physically made it to my new reality, even though there are some energetic cords still lingering {which will be cut in divine timing}. But by physically being in this new reality I have been creating for myself the past 7 months, I was simultaneously creating a clean slate for myself.

I feel as if I have hit the restart button on life.

It is mind blowing. Everything feels so new. I am just trying to get acclimated. I remind myself that I am doing the best I can, and at this point it means living life day by day. Which can be totally healthy, but I found myself not being fully present or intentional. 

This very well could be because my brain was not capable of handling all the things. It may have needed a break. A break quickly turned into three weeks, and I realized that I had stopped doing all of my self-care practices. I was not journaling, meditating, doing expressive art, sleeping well, moving my body, and I was barely spending time outside. It took a few weeks for me to even recognize it because I had been in such a fog of getting up, being on my phone, watching tv, doing work stuff, seeing clients, and occasionally hanging out with friends. Then near the end of the month I found myself feeling… just bleh. I was not feeling good. 

Everyone falls off the wagon from time to time. The important thing is to get yourself back on.

Sometimes, falling off the wagon can act as a reminder that our self-care practices ARE essential. Regularly doing the things that make us feel good fuels our soul. When we stop doing what makes us feel good, then soon enough we will feel the repercussions of it. 

For me, it has been a humbling reminder. It is also putting into perspective if I were ever to get caught in a cycle of hopping on the self-care wagon, falling off, stumbling my way back on, and then riding smoothly again, how far would I actually take myself? What if I choose to make the intention to continuously stay on the wagon even when life tries to knock me off? I would obviously cover more ground. Even with that awareness, I am still going to give myself grace and know that it is okay when I find myself falling off again. 

Every experience can gift us with an opportunity of achieving greater self-awareness.

This experience the past month gifted me in slightly refamiliarizing myself with what it feels like to exist instead of live. I was merely getting by, doing what I needed to survive. {which I was not in the midst of trauma, so for me, only doing what I needed to survive quickly turned into self-neglect} It did not take long for a depressive mood to swing on in.

As I’m sure we have all experienced, when we feel depressed it continues to suck the energy out of you making it even more difficult to pick back up the self-care practices. And we all know that as soon as we do, we immediately feel better. What a wild ride life is, am I right?

So, hello again world! I am getting back on the wagon, choosing to actively live the life that I envision my higher self lives, and making an effort to be fully present more days than not. If you have notice yourself falling off the wagon, what is one thing you can do today to start climbing back on?

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When we see the light in ourselves, we create light in others.

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Much love,

Kelsey

One thought on “Everyone Falls Off The Wagon.

  1. Hey Kelsey! 😀

    So glad + happy to see you back!! (WOOHOO!!)

    I’d say that my *normal* state is “off the wagon” — I am incessantly trying to climb onto this or that wagon… I keep falling off all the time, but whenever I see a good-looking wagon come by I keep trying to hop onto it before I miss my chance.

    Apart from that, I also want to add this:

    *When we see the light in others, we create light in ourselves* 😉

    Your posts light up my days, so I keep wondering + looking when you will post another one (I guess I could simply subscribe … that might at least make me less worried that I might miss one).

    Finally, I want to mention that your attention to light reminds me of something from my own past. When I was in grad school (Wisc-Mad), there was a “Quaker” meeting house nearby where I lived (I think there were actually 2 in the city), and since I had studied colonial American history in college and was very inspired by how strong the Quaker influence was in those formative years, I decided to go check it out. Quakers (formal name = “the Religious Society of Friends”) have a very fascinating view of light … and since I am not a member myself (but rather merely a so-called “friend of Friends”), I want to suggest to you to find a meeting in your area (if possible) and to ask some real-live members about what this concept means to them (I expect this may very well be a good starting point to perhaps amazing and intellectually inspiring and revealing discussions, perhaps leaving you thirsty for ever more knowledge about this very amorphous yet at the same time extremely focused community). I myself am sorry to say that I do not currently have a meeting that I can attend regularly nearby.

    🙂 Norbert

    Liked by 1 person

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