During the middle of December in 2020 I decided to not just delete, but deactivate my facebook and Instagram. Which means, that they no longer exist, and I couldn’t add back those specific profiles even if I wanted to! In this blog post, I am going to share the thoughts that have surfaced within these past 6 months.
Social media hadn’t been fulfilling me for quite some time. I was just too afraid to actually delete it. I had all the thoughts run through my mind: “How will I stay in contact with people? How will I make connections? What about my friends? Will I know what is going on with my family? What will happen if I completely lose contact with all the social media friends and followers?”
Social media tricked me into thinking that without it, I would have nothing and I would be lonely.
Well, let me verify it now for everybody. That is a lie! You know what not having a facebook or Instagram does? It FORCES you to establish genuine authentic connections with people. Because seeing through a post on the internet that someone recently bought a house yet you guys never talk in real life is not a connection. It’s a façade.
Yes, it’s nice to be able to see what’s going on in people’s lives, but if the main reason that you don’t want to delete social media is for the fear of losing connection with people…. Guess what, most of those people you actually don’t have a connection with anyway. Newsfeeds just trick you into thinking you have all these relationships, and makes you believe that you wouldn’t have most of them if it weren’t for social media, so you better keep it. It’s such a fear tactic.
If you only know what is going on in friends, family, or random other people’s lives because you follow each other on social media, then it’s time to evaluate your relationships.
No longer having social media has given me the opportunity deepen the relationships I already had. It was so easy to lose touch with people in my life because I saw them making posts and it tricked me into believing that I knew what was going on in their life. At the time, I felt connected to them, when the reality was, I had no fucking clue what was going on in their lives.
You know what changed that? I called them! 😱 Whaaaat?! Yes, in case you forgot, calling people is still a thing in 2021. Now I’m actually staying in touch with people. It does take more time and effort, but that’s literally the essence of relationships. So again, if you think you have all these relationships because of social media, yet there isn’t really any effort going into these relationships, then you’re probably not as close to these people as you think you are.
Social media is a façade.
Also, I did not develop these strong opinions about social media until after I had deleted it. Over the last 6 months I realized how much I had been sucked into the illusion. I really thought that I needed social media to survive in this day and age. That it was a contributing factor to my fulfillment, to my happiness. Now I know, that is a lie!
For the most part, I had even cultivated my newsfeeds to portray my interest with inspiring and educational content. BUT I noticed myself still on my phone so much throughout the day. I was not present. I was still distracting myself from my own life, and that was a truly scary realization.
When I no longer had those apps I magically had all this free time.
You know what I did with that free time? I created a fucking business! Literally. As soon as I deleted facebook and Instagram I realized I was distracting myself from doing what I wanted to do. I was trying to start creating free content on Instagram, and kept telling myself that was enough. That one day in the future I would create a website, podcast, and blog.
LOL.. no. The time is now! There is no way I would be able to have the time to create blog posts and podcast episodes on a weekly basis if I was still wrapped up in social media. I wouldn’t even be able to tune in to myself and produce authentic content if I was being distracted with what everyone else is doing on the internet.
This hiatus has intensified my self-awareness while also giving me constant opportunities to step into who I truly am.
Now, am I insisting that everyone must delete all of social media forever? No. You do you boo boo. I am just sharing my experience and new discoveries. But, I do encourage you all to get curious. Ask yourself: “Why do you have social media? How does it serve you? Is it for you or for other people? What would your relationships be like if you didn’t have social media? Within your relationship of social media, are you being your authentic self or are you hiding behind the façade?”
Full disclosure here, I have not completely deleted all of social media. It was just facebook and Instagram. I did deactivate all my old accounts on every platform, but I created a new snapchat and YouTube account a couple months ago. They are Creating Light with Kelsey related!
My vision for snapchat was to make stories to show more of my daily life to people. Inspire others you can live the life you want without being a slave to the typical societal work system, amongst other things. Also show that I’m a real person, not some mysterious being hiding behind a screen or mic that never reveals themselves. We will see how that goes or if it sticks around, but it is available! Then I haven’t utilized youtube yet. For that, I was thinking of showing videos of my own therapeutic art processes at some point.
Do I think social media is totally completely and entirely destructive? Absolutely not, or maybe it is and that is still the trick 😉! It can serve a purpose. I am just hyper aware now on how much I let it be a part of my life. Honestly, the biggest relief has been no longer comparing my life to others because their highlight reels are not constantly in my face anymore. I have been doing me, living my life, and it has been wonderfully refreshing!
When we see the light in ourselves, we create light in others.