Fall semester of 2018 one of the courses I started was Spirituality, Creativity, Metaphor, and Symbolism. This literally changed my life. I didn’t realize it then, but I had begun the path of RE-membering. Remembering who I am.
During residency the professor introduced the students to the concept that spirituality can be different than religion. That statement alone blew my mind. It blew my mind so much that I could not fully comprehend the idea. I kept thinking, “What do you mean? Spirituality IS religion, right?” Although I didn’t understand, some part of me deep inside finally felt seen. I started to question what spirituality meant to me. Which led to me viewing spirituality in the sense that it is whatever feeds your soul and makes you feel whole. You can be fed from a higher power, but it also comes from our own actions.
I don’t know about you, but the type of Christianity I was brought up in believed that this sense of wholeness was outside of me. I was taught that I was inherently sinful, which meant I was broken. In order to fix that brokenness, I needed to search for Jesus, and only through him, I would be whole. Well, what if I told you that Jesus (or whatever entity you believe in) is ALREADY within you. There is no separation. We were never broken. We just get to tune in, and listen to our hearts. 🤯 I don’t have to “let Jesus in” because he’s already been within, he never left. By choosing to listen to our hearts and not outside sources this is a main contributing factor to how we can feel whole. The choice is up to us because we have free will, and no matter what we choose we will always be enough.
Now, that took me years to understand, but this spirituality course kick started it all! I started to truly believe that I had the power to feel fulfilled. I was in control. It wasn’t dependent on whenever I happened to find Jesus. I see a lot of similarities within spirituality and Christianity. I believe they tie into each other, almost like it’s all one 😉, if just the construct of religion was removed from Christianity. In my opinion, if the rules of religion were removed from every denomination all we would be left with is spirituality. Then we would realize we are not separate. We are one.
Because of the assignments given in the spirituality course, I began to question the “shoulds” of society. I was becoming aware that I had been blindly living life and following a path based on other people’s opinions. Following the shoulds of society is a form of people pleasing and ignoring our own true desires. At the time, I was battling with the belief as a 25-year-old I “should” be successful by now, have financial stability, be married, thinking about having children, etc. Basically, living life like it is one big to-do list instead of LIVING.
I love the saying, “stop should-ing all over yourself.” It was during the fall of 2018 that I began to embody that phrase. (I share my assignments on my podcast in episode 10.) Understanding that it is not my job to make other people happy, and if I am not hurting anyone, the way I live my life should not matter to other people. Then, if I am making a mistake, it is my mistake to make! This semester was a liberating yet dark time. The deconditioning process had officially taken place. I am so grateful that it did. I will continue to break down the awakening process that happened within just this one semester, but I will leave you with this for now!
When we see the light in ourselves, we create light in others.